Punxsutawney Phil Indicted

Mike Gmoser - under worked prosecutor

Let's face it. Punxsutawney Phil blew it, this year. On the morning of February 2 (ground hog's day) Phil came out of his hole and didn't see his shadow. It was then declared that we would have an early spring.

Nope.

Temperatures in the Midwest during the past 46 days have been mostly colder than normal. So, an under worked prosecutor in Ohio, named Mike Gmoser, decides to issue a mock indictment of Puxsutawney Phil. Charging him with fraud or who-the-hell-cares-whatever.

Two problems, here:
Gmoser is in Ohio and Phil is in Pennsylvania. Phil is outside Gmoser's jurisdiction.
Second, Phil never said that we would have an early spring. All he did was emerge from his burrow. The weird guys with the top hats are the guilty parties.

Also worthy of note is the amount of trust that a certain prosecutor gives to the weather forecasting ability of a rodent.