How To Stop A Bully

How I stopped a bully...

There's been a lot of talk about the problem of bullies. It's my opinion that the problem has gotten worse with the breakdown of the two parent family. I'm not a sociologist, but does anyone think that a kid can be brought up BETTER by one parent than by two? I don't mean to make light of bullies. In fact, I was bullied briefly as a first grader. I was a small kid and as I remember, the bully was a big kid who would make fun of me and push me around. I know that this seems odd since I'm such a cool guy, but it did, indeed happen. I found a way to stop it immediately. There was no need for counseling or anything like that. Where I went to school, all of the first grade boys went to the "Boys' Room" at the same time. Well, my bully was bothering me in the restroom. He was off to my right as I was addressing the urinal. I was so mad at the kid that I spontaneously did something ingenious. I turned to my right and gave him a golden shower. This was the end of my being bullied.

Of course, the teacher was enraged. I got in a lot of trouble. You see, this was a time when being bullied was not fully appreciated. Whatever punishment I received was worth it. I was famous for my ability to ward off bullies. If there was ever any doubt, I'd make a move toward my fly and the situation would be immediately diffused. I don't recommend this remedy for everyone. I also would not rule it out.

Use your best judgement!